


Dean's Missing Angel

by Midnite521



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Flashbacks, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 03:06:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10527546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnite521/pseuds/Midnite521
Summary: Castiel's been missing for months, and Dean's reluctant to think the worst.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this is okay! It's taken me longer than I'd have liked to finish and post this  
> (Hopefully the ending's okay as well, to me it seemed kinda rushed but who knows)

The bunker was quieter than it usually was what with without Cas being there. It seemed... empty. At least, that’s what Dean thought. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t glance up at the door, even if no one is coming in at the moment- because he expects him to just walk through the door like he’s used to seeing practically every day.

 

Cas had been missing for about a year- today marking the anniversary of the day Dean’s world came to an absolute  _ halt _ . The reason? He loved Castiel more than he loved himself, and whether Cas knew or not was unknown to him. He, eventually, wanted to confess how he’d been feeling for quite some time- a few years actually. He couldn’t do that now... and that filled him with an emptiness in his chest that not even Charlie or Sam could fill.

 

Sure, they’d try to cheer him up by getting him to watch some of his favorite movies and tv shows, or order some of his favorite food from one of his favorite restaurants- Sam had even tried taking him on a hunt to try and help him take his mind off of everything. It’d work for a little while, maybe, but Dean truly could never get his mind off of the angel- his thoughts would go directly back to where they’d been before, and he’d go back to being depressed.

 

Even while trying to cheer himself up with happy memories of him and Cas- those memories just seemed to make everything worse by the fact that he might not ever get those kinds of chances again. And although it seemed like everyone else had given up on finding him, thinking he was dead- Dean didn’t let himself think that way, ever. He  _ had  _ to believe that Castiel was still out there somewhere, trying to find his way back home.

 

Dean would just spend most of his time in his room, with the door closed and letting everyone know he wasn’t to be bothered unless it was an emergency. He’d be lying on his bed, flat on his back, listening to the same kind of music over and over, simply because he couldn’t get himself to do much of anything else. Even then, he still thought of him. It was hard not to cry.

 

When he slept, he dreamed of the times before Cas went missing. And when he woke up, he wished they were real. When he had dreams of  _ that  _ day, that was when he truly wanted it to be just a dream.

  
  
  


\----- ♡-----

  
  
  


_ It had seemed just like any other hunt. They’d gotten a call about demons making a mess of things at some poor person’s house. Why they decided to go there, Sam and Dean had no idea, because they’d never heard of them before. They honestly didn’t care why, they just wanted it to be taken care of and be done with it. _

 

_ Before heading out, though, they were stopped by Castiel, who’d wanted to come with them this time instead of being stuck in the bunker with nothing to do. Even though they were supposedly just demons, he wanted to help in any way he could. He gave them a small smile. _

 

_ “You never know when you might need more backup. You might get done faster if I could come along.” And Dean, not wanting to upset him and wipe that smile off his face, gave in instantly with a small nod. Sammy didn’t mind, just as long as he could still sit in the front of the Impala. _

 

_ When they’d arrived, something just didn’t seem right. They were confused when they’d entered the house and didn’t see absolutely anything out of the ordinary, besides the fact that it was empty and no one seemed to even live here. The three of them split up though, just in case there was actually anything here. When none of them found anything, they decided that now would be a good idea to head out and maybe just go back home.  _

 

_ “What a waste of freakin’ time.” Dean muttered under his breath as he started to head towards the exit. He jumped as he heard a crash, sounding like it came from upstairs. Sam was downstairs with him, so he knew immediately who it was. His eyes widened as he turned quickly around and looked up. _

 

_ “Cas!” He yelled out, worry in his tone as he ran up the stairs as fast as he could, Sammy now behind him with the same expression on his face. The sound of struggling made it’s way to their ears as they got closer. Words got caught in Dean’s throat as his heart seemingly stopped. Castiel was pinned, on his knees with a pained look on his face, along with what looked like freshly made scrapes and cuts. Others in the room looked when they’d heard a noise, and grinned somewhat evilly when Sam and Dean entered their field of vision.  _

 

_ “You let him go,” Dean growled, gritting his teeth in anger. “Or I  _ **_swear_ ** _ I’ll-” One of the beings in the room tsked before motioning to one behind Cas. Suddenly there was an angel blade at his neck. It was then Dean knew exactly who these people were- only one thing could carry a blade like that. A small cut was made, making Cas shut his eyes tight as he let out a small cry before clenching his teeth. Struggling seemed to be of no use. _

 

_ “I’d watch your tone if I were you,” An angel said condescendingly. “Unless, of course, you want Castiel here to end up being nothing but just an empty vessel. And this time, we’ll make sure he won’t come back.” _

 

_ “What do you want?” Dean demanded, trying to keep any fear from surfacing so they could possibly use it against him. “How did you know he’d come with us here?” The other angels all looked at each other before answering. _

 

_ “Oh...  _ **_we_ ** _ don’t want anything to do with your precious pet. But, our new superior, he would like to see him and have a few words with him.” Castiel shrugged his shoulder to try and break free of the grip on him, glaring. “Do you remember that phone call you got? Well, that was one of us pretending to be someone you knew.”  _

 

_ “Well, you can go back to your superior and tell him he can go screw himself, ‘cause Cas sure as hell isn’t going  _ **_anywhere_ ** _ with you yahoos.” Dean threatened in a low voice, stepping forward but stopping as the blade moved closer to Castiel again.  _

 

_ “I know exactly who they’re talking about, and I know he won’t just want to ‘talk’.” Cas managed to say. “He’ll more than likely keep me prisoner for as long as he needs, or at least until I decide to join him.” _

 

_ “Join him?” Sam asked. “What you mean ‘join him’?” _

 

_ “Embrace him as our new leader, of course!” An angel answered as if it were obvious. “Castiel here is one of the very few angels left who are rebelling against him, and we just can’t have that.” _

 

_ “I’d rather  _ **_die_ ** _.” Castiel growled. _

 

_ “I’m afraid that we can’t allow that. At least... not yet anyway.” They chuckled. “Well, we’d love to stay and chat but we need to get back. Say goodbye to your friends- it may be the last time you’ll see them again.” _

 

_ “No!” Dean yelled before running forward and reaching out for Cas. The look Dean got from him before they disappeared was one of sadness, and maybe even regret. From what though, was unknown. Dean fell to his knees as he pounded a fist against the floor, trying hard not to let tears fall. “ _ **_Cas_ ** _!” _

  
  
  


\----- ♡-----

  
  
  


He woke up with a yell as he sat up and reached a hand out as if there were someone there. 

 

“ _ Not again _ ,” He thought as he screwed his eyes shut, covering his face with his hands as he laid back down- trying not to cry. “Not that again…” That was the last day he’d even heard from Cas, let alone seen him. The look on his face before the angels vanished with him was just heart wrenching to Dean, and he just could not get it out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. He couldn’t imagine what they’d been doing to him up in heaven- not that he even  _ wanted  _ to. He just hoped Cas wouldn’t eventually give in no matter what. 

 

Not wanting to leave his room, but needing something to eat so he wouldn’t starve, he sighed as he rolled out of bed and walked out the door towards the kitchen. He wasn’t surprised to find Sam there, though he didn’t talk to him regardless, instead opting to keep to himself. Sam seemed to understand as he went back to reading some book while eating a piece of toast- and though Dean didn’t see it, Sam also gave him a look of sympathy. He knew, without Dean even mentioning anything about it, how he felt about Cas, mainly because of the way he acted around him.

 

Not feeling up to cooking anything, Dean decided to just grab a poptart and be on his way. Though instead of going back to his room, he went to the library, sitting where he could see the entrance into the bunker. He sat there for a little while before deciding that he needed to take a shower.

 

After deciding the temperature of the water was good enough, undressed himself before slipping in. He stayed in for longer than he needed to, even when he was done washing up- because his mind kept wandering all over the place.

 

Eventually, after getting dressed and quickly towel drying his hair, he was about to just head back to his room when he thought he heard something in the main room. Confused, because Sam had went out a little while ago and shouldn’t be back yet, he called out.

 

“Who’s there?” No answer. Tentatively, he slowly made his way into the room where the entrance was. He was confused again when he didn’t see anyone. He was about to call out again before he faced the library, and his heart stopped. Though he was facing the other way, Dean knew who it was due to their height and hair color.

 

“ _ Please don’t let this be a dream _ …” Dean thought to himself as he stepped closer. Hearing the noise, the person turned around, wide eyed. Tears made their way to Dean’s eyes when he finally saw his face again.

 

“...Cas?” He asked softly. “Is that really you?” Although it looked as if it had been a few days since he’d shaved, and his hair was practically a mess, and his clothes were dirty- Dean still thought Castiel was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen in his life. Castiel nodded slowly, smiling slightly as he moved closer and into the main room.

 

_ God  _ had Dean missed seeing that smile... and those ethereal blue eyes…

 

Letting out what sounded like a laugh and a sob, Dean quickly walked over to Cas, hugging him tight, as if to really make sure he wasn’t dreaming and that his angel was really and truly back. Castiel stiffened slightly, Dean noticed. He rested his chin on Cas’ shoulder as tears fell down his face. He could feel as Cas relaxed into the touch and hugged back just as tight after a few seconds. After what seemed like hours, he sucked in a breath to try and calm himself down so he could speak.

 

“I missed you  _ so  _ much, Cas... I can’t even  _ begin  _ to explain.” It took about a minute for Cas to answer, his voice sounding rough- almost as if he hadn’t spoken in a long time.

 

“I... missed you too, Dean.” Dean pulled away slightly, just enough to see his face.

 

“But... how are you here? Did you escape?” Hurt flashed on Dean’s face for a second. “And if you did, why didn’t you come back sooner?” Castiel gave Dean a sad look as he pushed away from the embrace with his hands.

 

“If I were to have escaped, this is the first place I would have gone to. But, no…” He continued, sighing a little. “To answer your question, I didn’t escape. They... they let me go.” Dean furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

 

“Why would they just let you go? I don’t understand…” He crossed his arms. “That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t just come here right after. I mean, you’re an angel, so why not teleport?” Castiel shook his head, looking down.

 

“No, I’m not... Not anymore.” He looked back up at Dean, who still had a look of confusion. “I’m no longer an angel, Dean. My... grace was... taken from me, and... I-I fell.” He finished with a pained expression on his face. “Though where, I wasn’t sure. It took me longer than I thought it would to get back here. I would have called, but I didn’t have the money to use a phone…”

 

“...How long?” Dean asked in a low voice. Castiel stared at him, unsure of what he’d meant.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“What I mean, Cas, is how long have you been back on Earth?” He took a few seconds to answer, seemingly thinking it over.

 

“Not long, I think. A month, maybe two.” Dean huffed in disbelief. Though whether it was directed as Cas or the situation itself, he wasn’t sure.

 

“And where  _ exactly  _ did you even end up?”

 

“A little over a thousand miles away from here. I believe it’s called Palm Springs.” Dean’s eyebrows raised.

 

“California? You were really in California?” He questioned. Castiel shrugged.

 

“It’s not like I had any control over where I fell, Dean.”

 

“Right,” He answered with a sigh. “Look, uh... why don’t you go get cleaned up. You remember where the showers are, right Cas?” Castiel nodded. “Okay. You do that. I’ll... I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

 

Nodding once more, Castiel walked towards the direction of the showers. Running a hand through his hair, Dean let out a breath of air. Letting his hand fall back to his side, he shook his head as if to clear any and all thoughts from his mind as he started the walk to his room.

  
  
  


\----- ♡-----

  
  
  


All Dean could think about while he lied in bed was the fact that Castiel was actually  _ back _ . He was truly back- it wasn’t a dream that he’d had a few times before. Although knowing he was not alone, he still jumped a little when someone knocked on his door. Knowing it wasn’t his brother- because he wouldn’t have knocked- he called out somewhat quietly.

 

“Come in, Cas.” The door opened slightly, and Castiel peeked in with a small smile before fully stepping inside the room, closing the door behind him. Instead of moving, he kind of just stood in place awkwardly, looking around the room as if he didn’t know what to do next. Sighing to himself, Dean sat up, moving to the edge of his bed, patting the space beside him. 

 

“You’re looking better.” Dean commented as Castiel sat a respective few inches away. “I mean, not that you didn’t look okay before, but... y’know.” He added, smiling sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. Castiel gave another small smile.

 

“I appreciate the comment, Dean.”

 

“So, um…” Dean started somewhat awkwardly, his focus straying away from Castiel- instead he looked around his room, kind of like what Castiel had done when he first walked in. “I-if you don’t mind me asking, Cas... what exactly happened after they took you? And  _ where  _ did they take you?” Castiel didn’t answer straight away, which made Dean shift his eyes back to him as he waited. Castiel looked slightly uncomfortable as he looked down at his lap, licking his lips and sighing a little.

 

“There’s a place they take angels who like to rebel against higher power and... and torture them.” 

 

“Torture?” Dean forced out, shocked. “Was it... like a prison?” Castiel peeked back up at Dean before looking back down.

 

“Yes, torture. And no, it was much worse than just a prison. I’d... rather not talk about what they did.” He closed his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. “I... still have nightmares about it…” Dean’s brows furrowed in worry. Reaching out slowly, he placed a hand on Cas’ shoulder, making him jump. He quickly withdrew his hand, feeling guilty for scaring him. Castiel looked up at Dean when his hand disappeared, and noticed what looked like anxiety in his features.

 

“I’m... I’m sorry, Dean.” He said quietly. “It’s been a while since I’ve been touched by someone with no intent of hurting me.”

 

“Is that why you tensed when I hugged you?”

 

“Most likely, yes.” Dean could feel this weight in his chest. Knowing that some angel placed their hands on  _ his  _ angel made him upset just thinking about it.

 

“Cas, you know I’d never hurt you right?” He asked. Castiel sighed softly before answering.

 

“I know. And I’m sorry I jumped when you-”

 

“It’s okay. Totally understandable.” Dean interrupted, forcing a smile, no matter how sad it really was. He couldn’t help himself as his eyes flickered over every feature on his best friend’s face. He swallowed when his eyes met with Castiel’s. When Castiel laughed under his breath, Dean had just barely caught it, thinking he was hearing things.

 

“Is... everything okay Dean?” Castiel asked in a light tone. “You seem... distracted.” Dean blinked several times as he tried to regain focus, clearing his throat.

 

“Oh, um. I’m fine, really.” He answered non too confidently. Castiel didn’t seem convinced, Dean noticed, as he raised an eyebrow. “I just…” He sighed, running a hand through his hair again. He held his hands out a little, as if he wanted to hold something. Getting the hint, Castiel held his arms out, letting Dean wrap his arms around him again. He tensed a little, but then relaxed as he returned the embrace. Resting his chin on his shoulder again, Dean breathed in Cas’ scent- which was fruity from the shower earlier- and he closed his eyes as his grip tightened. 

 

“I just missed you, okay?” Dean mumbled. “Y... you’re my best friend.” Castiel kept quiet, letting Dean hug him for as long as he thought he needed to. Dean was quiet for a few more moments before finally letting Cas go- scooting away. He looked down as he spoke again.

 

“A-and I…” He sighed as he forced himself to say what he’d been thinking. “Not only are you my best friend, but... I... also think of you as just more than my friend.” Dean looked up again, noting the confused look on Cas’ face- his head tilted slightly.

 

“...What do you mean?” 

 

“I  _ love  _ you, Cas.” Dean finally told him, his face warming up. “Not just like a friend, or even brother- like Sam. That’s different. What I feel for you is completely different than what I’d feel for anyone else I know.” After confessing, he was anxious of Castiel’s reaction. At first, he didn’t say anything, just staring blankly as if he were processing the whole thing. 

 

“As in... a boyfriend?” He asked, showing a slight smile. “Is that what you mean?” Dean laughed under his breath as he smiled as well, hanging his head down for a second before looking back up.

 

“Um, yeah. I-I suppose that’s what I’m referring to.” Dean bit his lip subtlety as he sucked in a breath. “I mean, i-it’s fine if you don’t feel the same way, having been an angel before... If you wanted to just be friends then I’d under-”

 

“ _ Dean _ .” Castiel interrupted, making Dean’s mouth snap shut. “Just because I was an angel doesn’t mean I’ve never had feelings or don’t know what they are- because I do. I like that we’re friends... but I also wouldn’t mind being more than that. If you truly meant what you said, that is.” Now it was Dean’s turn to be confused.

 

“I wouldn’t lie to you about something like that, Cas. If I tell someone I love them or that they’re important to me, I mean it. I always do.” His voice grew quiet near the end as he once again moved closer, face warming up again as he swallowed nervously. “You’re the best friend I’ve probably  _ ever  _ had in my life, if I’m being honest. But you’re more than that. You’ve... you’ve always been more than that. Whenever I’m around you, or even  _ look _ at you, I feel different. Happier, I guess. I always missed you when you would leave, and I wouldn’t stop thinking about you until you came back.” The entire time Dean spoke, Castiel kept quiet, listening to every word.

 

“The whole time you were missing, I wouldn’t stop thinking about you. Not a day went by where I didn’t. Even when the others gave up on you being  _ alive _ , I kept my hope and my belief that you would eventually come back home to me.”

 

After finishing his speech, Dean’s entire face felt like it was on fire, and his heart felt like it was beating a million miles an hour. He’d never confessed so much to someone before. The only other person he tells things to is his brother- and even  _ he  _ didn’t know how Dean felt about the angel at the time. It took a few more minutes for Castiel to process everything Dean had told him. When he finally did, he licked his lips before letting out a small laugh, his smile from before widening slightly. Before Dean could ask why he would laugh at him for confessing everything, his thoughts were silenced as Cas moved even closer to him so that they were now face to face.

 

“Now I know you’re telling the truth. Because you, Dean Winchester, never like to  admit anything remotely close to how you’re feeling.” 

 

“Are you  _ trying  _ to offend me?” Dean asked, slight accusation in his voice. Cas laughed again, shaking his head.

 

“No, I’m not. But what I  _ am  _ doing, is telling you that I feel the same way that you do.” 

 

“So... what, you love me too then?” Dean asked, cracking a smile as he joked lightly. Castiel nodded, his eyes flicking back and forth between Dean’s eyes and his mouth. Dean noticed but decided not to say anything.

 

“I do, yes. I knew as soon as I met you.”

 

“And you didn’t tell me?” Dean asked incredulously.

 

“At the time, I wasn’t sure what the feeling was, so I couldn’t. But being on Earth for this long has helped me understand it more. Especially when I was with you.” Looking into his eyes, Dean knew he couldn’t stay mad at the ex angel, so he just ended up grinning before his hand instinctively went to the back of his best friend’s neck and pulled him even closer, making his lips barely brush against Castiel’s.

 

“Pretty sure this is where we’re supposed to kiss now.” Dean murmured, making Cas blush slightly as he nodded vaguely before finally pressing his lips against Dean’s.

  
  
  


\----- ♡-----

  
  
  


That night, Dean and Cas had slept next to each other- with Dean holding him close, not wanting to let him go as if he would just disappear again for over a year. He knew when he woke up though, that yesterday definitely was not a dream, and that he definitely had confessed to his friend how he felt about him and kissed him after. And he didn’t regret it- in fact, he felt happier now than he had in years.

 

Sam was, more or less, just as surprised as Dean was when he saw Cas. In fact, he stared at him slack jawed for a few minutes, almost as if he didn’t believe what he was seeing. When he  _ was  _ finally able to talk, he instantly apologized for thinking that he wasn’t even alive, and that he’d stopped trying to find ways to bring him back because of it- though Cas just interrupted him, telling him that what he’d done was understandable and that he forgives him.

 

Now that things were  _ kinda  _ sorta back to normal, the bunker wasn’t as quiet as it had been, nor had it felt as empty. It also didn’t take long for Sam to guess that his brother and friend were together- it  _ was  _ kind of obvious with the cuddling, the hand holding, and overall clinginess Dean had over the ex angel- not that Cas seemed to mind, with the subtle smiles that Sam caught every once in a while.

  
The event seemed to bring their little family closer than it had been before, and if they were being honest, they couldn’t be any happier with it.


End file.
